Fibbing 101

Although Grandma doesn't ask about Grandpa anymore, or even want to talk about him, there was a point in time if she were talking about him or asking where he was, I would often lie and say "I don't know," or "I'm sure he's chatting with someone else right now - you know how he is!"

She would be fine with that.

Grandpa died in 1991, and she was there through it all. Found him slumped over a chair in the bedroom. She was in the kitchen and he went to change his clothes or something, and it happened in an instant. And she had to wait almost an hour for the ambulance to arrive. It's a good thing that she has forgotten that, because it was a horrible memory for her.

Since she has started talking about things and reliving moments in her life, I have never minded going along with her. It seems so much easier to talk about myself in third person or pretend that I'm one of her daughters or sisters, rather than repeat myself time and again: "I'm your granddaughter, my name is Holly, I'm Barbara's daughter. Barbara is your first born, and you have five children... etc."

I think Alzheimer's patients need kindness more than honesty. Those that are at Hillcrest with Grandma really can go on about nothing, and if you just keep nodding your head and smiling, it makes them feel more comfortable at least.